Troubled Waters
by Shidou's Secret Admirer
Summary: it's quite a nonsense fic but since it's shounen ai i think it's a PG-13. crawford x schuldreich...


Troubled Waters  
by: Shidou's Secret Admirer( countshido@yahoo.com)   
  
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Author's Ramblings:  
The fanfic is mine and the characters aren't. They belong to their rightful owners and I am   
merely borrowing them. Hope they don't sue me b'cause I've got no money and other than that...  
I am 14 with no savings to talk about. ^_^\_/  
(_) (I hope you get that this actually a peace sign and not a rabbit.)  
  
BTW, this fic's a mild shounen ai between Brad (!) and SchuSchu. If you don't like that, then  
disregard the fic and read something else. And please not, swearing.  
  
Any comments, suggestions, verifications, additional information or flames (hehehe)  
Email me at (countshido@yahoo.com)  
  
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Started: May 6,2001  
Finished: May 6,2001  
  
First Edit: August 2,2001  
---checked the grammar and added lines.  
  
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It was a rainy morning. He slowly opened his eyes and yawned. He looked out the window which was   
beside his bed and found the window with dew. He wiped it with his hand forming a circle where he  
could see right through.   
He was quite surprised on he saw.  
He just saw Crawford enter the compound from a black limo clad in a black coat holding an   
umbrella in one hand with a suitcase in the other.  
I wonder where he came from..., thought Schulderich.  
He slid the curtain to his window and grabbed a pair of pants as he stepped out of the room.  
  
Crawford was wet from the shower that suddenly hit him as he arrived from the business deal. He   
shook off the water that partly wet his dark hair as he took off his boots.  
  
"Where were you?"  
  
Crawford looked up and found the red-haired German peering down at him clad in a sweatshirt with   
rolled up sleeves and tight jeans.  
  
"It's really none of your business."  
"I saw you come out from that limo."  
"So what?, Crawford then hung his coat revealing his usual khaki suit, "What is it to you and   
it's still 3:00 am. Why are you awake? Don't you remember we have a..."  
Schulderich cut short Crawford saying, "You know what Crawford, you sure piss me off early in the  
morning and you know why? It's because you're so fucking stoic! You think your need to act   
like nyah this nyah that. Why can't it ever stick into your thick skull that you are not alone!   
Me, Nagi and well in worst cases Farfello are here to ally you in this but no, you have to push   
us away in your worst as-a-matter-of-fact self. Crawford you must really think I'm a nagger but  
please under..."  
"I know."   
Crawford then left Schulderich in the middle of his speech and went up the stairs.  
"Damn you."   
  
Schulderich couldn't go back to sleep, he was too darn affected at Crawford's actuation.  
"He is so fucking stoic. Piece of shit."  
He turned about for half an hour only to tumble off the bed.  
"That's it," he snapped, "I am going to take a shower and have my breakfast."  
And he did.  
  
In the meanwhile, Crawford had been tapping his desk for thirty minutes trying to get Schulderich  
out of his head.   
Maybe he is right... But I can't put my guard down... I just can't...   
Realizing he was quite guilty of what Schulderich said and couldn't work, he decided to take a   
shower and have an early breakfast.  
  
While Schulderich was in the shower applying shampoo, he was thinking.  
What could be the cause of his extreme stoicism...?   
His past?  
His present?  
Then it hit him.  
Could it be us? Schwarz?   
  
As he realized it, Schwarz was truly the source of Crawford's stress and extreme temper when it   
came to missions. He was after all the leader and he had to look after his men.   
Nagi was young yet powerful. He still has many to learn. Farfello was a no-nonsense killer and   
enjoyed torturing his victims to death. He was quite a sadistic person. And him? What was he?   
He was a mind reader which would prove useful in cases of battle and such...   
But what were they really to Crawford?   
  
Friends? No...  
Allies...?  
By fate and not by choice...  
We were four different people joined together by one thing in common, we were all hired killers.  
Nothing more and nothing less.  
If they were ever to part ways and all, it would not mean much to anyone to them just a plain   
and simple goodbye like any acquaintance that just past by...  
  
But Schulderich did not want just to be some acquaintance to anyone.  
He wanted to remember as someone who took a shine to them.   
No matter how dark or black he was, he just wanted to take a shine at least he wouldn't be   
totally that bad. Somewhat a fifty-fifty chance to even grasp purgatory for all the sins he   
committed.  
When he finished taking a shower he met Crawford.  
"Good morning, Crawford," he said trying to replicate the stoicism in Crawford's voice.  
The German received no remark from Crawford as he entered the shower.  
"Bastard."  
  
Schulderich went down the stairs to fix an early breakfast when Crawford arrived.  
"How fast does it take you to take a shower, Crawford?"  
"Seconds," answered Crawford as he took out a Tupperware and placed its contents on a plate. He  
plugged the microwave oven and was about to place it in, when Schulderich held him fast.  
"No, I cooked breakfast for you also. I can't consume all of what I cooked, let's eat together.  
Please?"  
Crawford looked at Schulderich's eyes and they were pleading him. Not the kind of eyes Nagi would  
put on to allow him to date Tot but something else...   
"Ok."  
"I knew it. You wouldn't pass. Here sit here," said Schulderich as he pulled a seat for Crawford.  
The American took a seat and soon Schulderich was serving breakfast.  
They both ate in silence when Schulderich spoke up.  
"Hey, Craw..."  
He was cut short when Nagi came to the kitchen.  
"I knew it, someone was downstairs."  
"Good morning, Nagi," greeted Schulderich.  
"Crawford, Good morning," greeted Nagi.  
Crawford merely raised a hand as he was drinking his coffee.  
"Now that's a rather nice way of saying good morning," said Nagi as he did the same to Farfello.  
Not getting what Nagi meant, Farfello who had just arrived jumping down the stairs, ending up   
rolling down the stairs.  
He was wearing a straitjacket.  
"Hey, Nagi could ya open the jacket please?"  
"Sure."  
Nagi untied Farfello and also waved his hand.  
Schulderich couldn't help but laugh. Seeing Crawford had paused from drinking his coffee and was  
currently looking at Schulderich icily.  
"Hehehe..."  
  
Since the compound that was under Crawford's name was rather big, Schulderich had sore feet just  
exploring the place.   
Crawford's lot was huge. Outside it looked rather small but was sprawling inside. The front was   
connected to the city but the back was connected to a river.   
"Ahh..."  
Schulderich moaned as he dipped his feet in the cold running water.  
It has been quite a while, Takatori had given them a vacation and they decided it be done in   
Crawford's villa.  
Schulderich felt like a child lashing water at his feet, laughing, remembering his past when he   
was in Germany. His family lived in the countryside, far away from the city where they would not   
be disturbed by anyone who would want to use him as a circus attraction for his 'ability' but   
nonetheless, because of that 'ability' his family was killed and his life shattered. Schulderich   
or should one properly say "Karl" grew up in a harsh world swearing that he would be strong and   
he would protect those who he cared for the most.  
But who?  
"Schulderich."  
That took Schulderich by surprise as he turned and found Crawford looking at him.  
"Eh... hi?"  
  
(Schulderich had been taken by surprise by a pair of bluish eyes on the merry month of May....)  
  
"Thought I would come here too, but I didn't expect you to be here too."  
"Oh really?," grinned Schulderich as Crawford sat next to him, leaning on his folded knees close  
to his chest.  
"I was thinking about you said."  
"Oh that... Forget it, I really meant no harm... I'm sorry I raised my voice at you."  
"It's me who should apologize Karl."  
It hit Schulderich... How?!  
Crawford then looked at Schulderich, "Your real name's Karl right?"  
Schulderich's response was horror in his eyes. So he must also know of my...  
"Do you know..."  
Crawford nodded and received a punch as a thank you.  
"How dare you! You peek into my past and..."  
Crawford then restrained Schulderich making them roll down the riverside. Crawford ended up on   
top of Schulderich pinning him to the ground.  
"I HATE YOU!"  
"Please Schulderich listen to me!"  
"I HATE YOU!"  
Crawford was licking his lips in frustration... "Schulderich, I'm sorry... If I hadn't done   
that, how would I know who you once were?!"  
"I don't want anyone knowing the past me!"  
"But I want too!"  
"Why? Why FUCKING WHY?!"  
"Because I happen to have a weird way of displaying affections! Schulderich I love you!"  
"What?!"  
The declaration hadn't been as smooth as Crawford wished it would be but controlling himself was   
starting to get way out of hand. He had finally realized he had affections for the fellow   
Schwarz a long time ago but he had uncertainties. So he kept his feelings to himself, controlling  
his mouth from spilling the fact that he loved Schulderich.  
  
"The reason I had been keeping this... 'feeling' for you for this long is because I was afraid   
you'd push me away and I didn't want you to lose the respect you gave me so I hid it. I didn't   
know why since this isn't the one of many but first time I felt like this. So I thought I could  
hide it in a perfect guise if I acted especially stoic to you but I guess I can't keep up with   
it anymore. Schulderich, I really love you."  
  
The green-eyed German was left speechless after the declaration.  
"My... How long did it take you to realize that, liebchen?"  
"Huh?"  
"Couldn't you see underneath my teasing and flirting that deep within those acts were clues of   
my love to you?  
"I..."  
It was now Crawford's turn to look surprised, "What?"  
"You, Americans sure are cute when they're surprised. Crawford, I love you too."   
Schulderich sat there opening his arms to Crawford.  
Crawford smiled and embraced the German.  
"Do you want to know why I was out at that time this morning?," asked Crawford whispering   
against Schulderich's ear.  
"No. Ok, fine. Yes."  
"Then I shall tell you. Once when I was working..."  
"As always..."  
"Don't cut on me."  
"Anyway, as I was working I had a vision of this little place in the country."  
"And?"  
"And I decided to find it, I was then interested to quit Schwarz and leave. I wanted to live a   
simple life. But you came into the picture and I was hoping in having you."  
"I didn't fail you, Brad."  
"Once I saw the quaint house in a picture, I had this feeling of deja vu and I knew it was the   
house in my vision. I immediately bought it."  
"It must be really beautiful. Brad."  
"Far more than beautiful, Schulderich."  
  
Crawford then led Schulderich uphill and sat underneath a tree. They watched the sunset when   
Crawford spoke, "The sunset greatly reminds me of you, Schulderich."  
"?"  
Crawford then fixed Schulderich's hair that was covering his face, "Your hair."  
"I see."  
"Look at us, Crawford... It seems so fast like we've been holding this for so long and when we  
were unable to hold it, this is it? No romance or dinners? Like our declarations didn't turn out  
so romantic or memorable like the movies. Not that I want it that way but..."  
"You wanted it to be special. I realize that. Honestly I didn't expect to fall in love with you.  
It was so sudden that I woke up wanting you."  
"Hmm, am I that irresistible?"  
"Knock it off, anyway... I too wanted to make that memorable but I couldn't wait till Valentine's  
or Christmas or whatever holiday, just to tell you that. I wanted your love badly now. So why   
wait for forever when the opportunity stands before you? Grab it!"  
"Oh don't stop talking Brad. It's so hard to have you start things."  
"Really? I promise you I'll get over that."  
"Sigh, I just can't stop thinking how fast things can go... it just seemed like yesterday that we  
met and fought... We hated each other like dirt and now... Here we are huddled in one's   
arms, just letting time past watching the moon. Ironic, eh?"  
"Very but we can't let that foil our happiness, Schulderich. Destiny has made it happen. Let us   
not complain, unless..."  
"Unless...?"  
"You do not wish the happiness she brings us?"  
"Of course not! I do! Crawford!"  
"Then shut up."  
"There you go again, telling me to shut up."  
"It's because you're breaking the silence. I just want to the night like this. Holding you close  
as we watch the wind and the wind blowing my skin. Could you just keep quiet? You're spoiling   
the romantic mood, Schulderich."  
Schulderich then laughed in Crawford's grasp, "Brad, I never knew you would have such things..."  
"I happen to be a human too, Schulderich."  
"I know but with your stoicism, sometimes I tend to think you've lost all emotions for good."  
"Then I should have left you dying."  
"Now that's a different issue, Almighty Leader of Schwarz."  
Crawford then brushed his hand on Schulderich's chest and was satisfied to hear him moan.  
"I love you, Brad."  
"I love you too, Schulderich... Hanz..."  
Crawford watched Schulderich doze off to sleep in his arms as time past by and looking back at   
all that had happened between him and the German.  
  
If only we had our first kiss before you doze off, sleepy head... Sigh, just go sleep...  
  
Then a nasal voice echoed in his head, I heard that.  
  
What?! You're still awake!!!  
  
The German then opened an eye, "Peek a boo, I see you Braddy-poo."  
"Schulderich..."  
"I was about to fall asleep when I suddenly heard your voice. Ok, I'm willing."  
Schulderich had squirmed out of Crawford's arms and knelt before him, with his eyes closed and   
his lips parted, waiting for Crawford to kiss him.  
Crawford watched the moonlight shine on Schulderich.   
He was beautiful under the moonlight as his skin shone.  
Crawford's heart beat suddenly speeded up as his uncertainties returned but he ignored them all.  
His shaky hands took hold of Schulderich's face, holding it in place in between his hands. He  
closed his eyes as he slowly pressed his lips on Schulderich.  
  
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~Poem~  
  
For two who have yet discovered what they were looking for.  
Destiny must open their hearts' once closed doors;  
To reveal the need of love that they longed for.  
Not realizing that love stood in front of them.  
Must they once realize, their hearts in fear condemned.  
  
So in defeat, once must admit the heart's troubled waters.  
Realizing the love they felt for one another.  
In some private time, only them and nothing else to bother.  
Not enough are the words of I, love and you.  
Lovers, new and old, express it in all you do.  
  
Now and forever more...  
  
~Shidou's Secret Admirer~  
  
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Well, this is my first ever typed and finished fanfic of WeiB kreuz which I am proud to say   
finished in a day's time. I typed this immediately after the electricity in our place came back.  
Meaning I was stuck to the computer straining my poor eyes just to finish this. Now I have I am   
happy. I hoped you enjoyed reading my piece of crap which I have devoted my time to the whole   
afternoon.  
  
Any comments, suggestions, verifications, additional information or flames (hehehe)  
Email me at (countshido@yahoo.com)   
  
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End file.
